Part 32: Episode 2, Day 3, Trial: Abso-posi-lutely Perfect

Part 32: Episode 2, Day 3, Trial: Abso-posi-lutely Perfect

Music: Silence



I have no idea what we're in for here, but I'm sure it's going to get ugly.



It's the next day, and we're about to go on trial for murdering our boss and mentor.

Music: Courtroom Lobby ~ Beginning Overture



But first, we're going to have a chat in the lobby.

Yeah.





I took a peek at the court record here, mostly to snap any changes to the profiles. But notice something different here? The newspaper clipping of the suicide with Mia's hand-written "White" on it is gone. Was it taken from us? Are we not expected to need it? Seems like it would be important here. Also, if we had managed to hang onto the photo of Mr. White up to this point, then it would be gone now as well. My understanding is that our "inventory" is just loaded from a stock state at the start of the day with what's needed for that day, regardless of what we really had the day before. It's a good way to avoid a glitch in a prior day cascading into a game-breaking failure later on.



Anyway, the only profile that seemed to be any different was Maya's, now that she's no longer the defendant.





(Prosecutor... Edgeworth.)

Ugh, this guy again. Looks like I have a whole new set of smug sprites to go capture.



?



Yeah, we get it, the system is even more rigged against us than normal.



If I raise an objection, I have it on good faith that the judge will listen to me.

(What, does White have the judge in his pocket, too!?)



...



Do you have a third autopsy report to throw at us?



How can you torment an innocent person like this!?

Don't bother engaging with him Maya, it's not worth it.



How can we know that?

The guilty will always lie, to avoid being found out.



That's an awfully cynical attitude for a prosecutor. Probably some backstory there that we'll get to someday.

All that I can hope to do is get every defendant declared "guilty"!

So I make that my policy.

Edgeworth...

You've changed.

Hmm?







Well... court will be starting soon.

What? But wait!



I'll be defending myself.

There's an old saying that a lawyer who represents himself at trial "has a fool for a client". That may be true, but it sure seems like Phoenix's other options would be worse here.



So I feel like that reaction is a little unwarranted, Maya.

Okay, let's do this.

Music: Silence







Interesting, Maya's standing next to us this time.



Music: Trial







Well, for better or worse, here we go!



Yes, Your Honor. I will be defending myself.

Understood.

Very well. Mr. Edgeworth, your opening statement, please.



today we will hear the testimony of a witness to the defendant's crime.

I see.



(That went far too smoothly!)



Because everyone in this system is corrupt and already knows the answer.



Yes, that.



Eh, why bother.






Let's just get this farce over with.





Ugh I am going to enjoy taking this guy down if we're allowed to do so.

Please state your full name.





I did not think this guy could actually get worse!

Er... your name?



Oh dear, do my locutions confuse?



Name!



Our one ray of hope so far - Mr. White and Mr. Edgeworth do not seem to mesh well together.



While that may literally mean "white boy", it's really more used as a pejorative insult.

I am the CEO, or to use a more common term, the President, of Bluecorp.



I imagine that Edgeworth is closing his eyes to regain his patience here.



...



Correct.

And you witnessed the murder from there?







We have no real evidence, so I'm somewhat at a loss here, but I guess we'll see what happens.



Because it is and you are!

Ho hoh hoh.



I hope you have made your peace with God, Mr. Lawyer!

...!



Oh, hey, Maya's going to help us out! Suddenly I feel much better.

Music: Silence



Music: Questioning - Moderato

Let's see, it was about 9:00, I believe.



Then I heard a bedlam coming from outside!

Surprised, I turned to look at the building across the way.



Needless to say that man was none other than you, Mr. Lawyer!

I called Miss May over at once. She, too, was flabbergasted of course.





Music: Silence



Hmm...



I suppose at least he said "if"? What are we supposed to do with that testimony? Lies from beginning to end, but no way to prove it!



Your cross-examination...

Yes, Your Honor.



I was going to stop here, but it's not really clear what to do next, so let's press a little first.

Music: Questioning - Moderato

Let's see, it was about 9:00, I believe.







No no no, you're not getting away with that!

You are so mistrusting, Mr. Lawyer!

So... what was the proper term for "secretary" again...?



It happened soon after the room service arrived.



We didn't come all this way to let this guy off easy, let's keep pushing.

True, the bellboy who brought the coffee saw Miss May.



But he testified that he did not see you at the time!

Ahem. This is your concern?





(Hmm...)




I was quietly perusifying... er, that's "reading" to you, some papers by the window.





Correct! That is the only window, you see.

And there you were reading... papers?

Correct!



Hmm, not much there either.

Then I heard a bedlam coming from outside!



A "bedlam"?



We see. Continue.

Surprised, I turned to look at the building across the way.









Come on, give me something!

It was then I saw him: a spiky-haired man attacking a woman with long hair!





That's all we get for that one. We're halfway through the testimony and still have nothing.

Needless to say that man was none other than you, Mr. Lawyer!







Miss May clearly stated that the assailant looked like a "girl"!

I've always been proud of my eyesight, Mr. Lawyer.



No, don't get distracted, stay on topic!



Counting both eyes... 40!

40!? Don't add them together!



(Hey, whose side is the judge on, anyway?)

Clearly not ours, have you not been paying attention?



I called Miss May over at once. She, too, was flabbergasted of course.



What was Miss May doing at that time?





Dude, that was random.





Looks like Edgeworth agrees.

Irrelevant! That has nothing to do with the case at hand.





You'd make a good politician, Mr. White.



Please continue.

The victim, she... she ran away, but you gave chase!





I think it's worth knowing exactly what happened.

Of course! Comprende! I understand!



You gave chase, and struck her down!





As you know, I am always abso-posi-lutely perfect!





Indeed, the testimony changes! Let's press again, just to be sure.



Are you sure about that?

How many times must I say it?



I am abso-posi-lutely perfect! End of story!

(How many times must I hear that?)



Doesn't something about that strike you as a little odd?

Not really, but your interjection here tells me that line is the one on which I'm supposed to present something.

Finally there was a terrible impaction! Then it was all over...



Um... "impaction"? Don't you mean just "impact"?



(On second thought, perhaps I'd better leave the whole language thing alone...)

Well, we've reached the end of the testimony, any advice for us Phoenix?



(Anyway, I'd better find a weakness in there...)



Well, there's our evidence list. What should we present?